If

If I loved myself the way I love you, I'd probably take care of myself a little better, be a bit more generous, find more satisfaction in the person I've become. 

Body

It is not vain to think about our bodies. Our relationship to our skin and limbs and fat and muscles is not superficial. It goes as deep as relationships go.

We are our bodies and our bodies are us and sometimes when we hate our bodies we hate ourselves.

Like most things in life, our relationship to the package in which we come is complicated and nuanced. It can give us grief and it can give us joy, sometimes all at once.

Loving ourselves necessitates loving our bodies and therefore taking care of our bodies is taking care of ourselves. This is a matter of self preservation.

Love/hate (ain't it the same thing?)

I paid so much care and attention to your regard for me that I forgot to regard myself. 

I so desperately wanted you to love me that I loved you harder. And the less you gave, the more I gave and now I have nothing left to give. 

Not to you, not to the next guy, not to a friend, not to myself. 

My love for you led me to the hate of me. And I hate you for that. 

Finding

Words to utter a concept you've been familiar with for a long time... It feels so good.

"Moral narcissism is about being more concerned with the cleanliness of your hands than with how your conduct shapes the lives around you."

New York

There's only room for half of me,
But I'm running late.
I squeeze in,
An older lady gives me a death glare.
I wonder why I moved to this city
A, B, C, all the way up to J, skip the H, I
S, Z, 1, 2, 3
And there's still no room for me.
Literally and figuratively.

The center of the universe,
This city seems to be made for someone that's not me.

But then,
A long run in a grandiose park.
Or,
Art, on the street and in museums.
Or,
Getting lost with good coffee in hand.
Noodles for every nationality.
Making eye contact across a subway platform.
We can be bold
Because we'll never see each other again.

Squeeze, sit, stand a little closer.
You make me feel less alone.

Borges

Ya te quiero

Encouraging (Depressing?) Words

You're no one till someone lets you down